Up until about 3 years ago all I wanted to pursue in life was a professional soccer career.
Even through the ups and downs, through finishing college and moving from the United States to Croatia and then to Poland for soccer, I was focused on finishing my education and then pursuing a long-lasting soccer career.
That idea changed rather quickly when I accomplished the goal of becoming a professional soccer player for a top team in Poland, but also realized how shallow the life of a professional female soccer player was when I lacked the financial stability to believe in a brighter future. My priorities then changed and I placed work first and playing soccer second. Now I work as a soccer coach and still spend a lot of time on the field andwith a ball at my feet, which is what genuinely enjoy.
Going into my third year with changed priorities I am seeing that my passion and desire as a player on the field has gradually diminished. I have practically become emotionless over what happens on the field as a player….whether I am in the starting 11, or benched, or whether we win games or lose them, it’s almost like I really don’t care that much anymore because I know that I am playing for fun and to stay active more than I am for my love of the game and desire to improve.
This might be a phase (I am hoping it is) because I can’t possibly be giving my maximum effort and achieving my potential if my emotions, mind and body are disconnected and unmotivated.
I also think it might because I have started viewing the game from another perspective as a coach rather than player, which has widened my horizons and forced me to stay more level-headed and cool in most situations. Other than that I have also experienced many ups and downs throughout my soccer career, and certain downs especially dimmed that fire of passion (situations related to money and faulty managers).
Is there anyone who has experienced this feeling and knows what I am going through? I would appreciate some help through discussion over the many phases a player goes through in their soccer career…